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1/28/20

In today's class, Mr. Paterson went over some of the individual essays from the class. One of them was mine, so I got direct feedback of the mistakes I had made, and how I should fix them.
First, he pointed out my title. A proper title should have two individual parts, something should equal something else. The first "something" should be a problem and it should be connected with a solution/answer. For example, if I were writing an essay on global warming, my title could be something like "Global Warming is Rising: Implementing various Natural Energy Sources". This would be able to clearly state what I would be writing about throughout the essay and is the most important section because it is the first the readers would see. Next, he said I should never include a question into an essay. The reasoning for this was because I'm the one answering and providing all of the information, it would be unreasonable for the writer to ask a question. Essays should only include the answers to a question and should assent to the problem and solution you have prepared. Finally, he told me I had no references. I had found some references for the essay, but I couldn't insert it correctly into the document because of some problems that occurred on my MacBook. I found one of my references by searching on Google Scholar, which had reliable information and data to back up my statement I had made in the essay. For the second reference, I tried to find a good paper but I didn't end up finding one, and out of last resorts I searched up something on Google and used it. He said there needed to be more references and that they needed citations, which can easily be inserted with ease on Zotero.
This was some of the things he pointed out on my essay, and I hope to implement the advice he gave on fixing them and be able to turn in my revised and new essay next week.


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